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Jokes for frens :)

Libra

Date: Thursday, 2007-10-11, 1:31 PM | Message # 1

1st to reach 2000 posts

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Messages: 2445

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> Some Laughter to make your day ...
>
> Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
> Married MEN Not Allowed.
> We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy...
>
> ~~~~~~
>
> Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl:
> SITUATORY WARNING: Objects Inside
> The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside.
> ~~~~~~
>
> Lady : Is this my train?
> Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
> Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can
take
> this
> train to New Delhi.
> Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
> ~~~~~~
>
> A drunkard was brought to court.
> Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge
> pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, 'Order, order.' The
> drunkard immediately responded, 'Thank you, your honor, I'll have a
> scotch and soda.'
>
> ~~~~~~~
>
> Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
> He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
> But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power.
> ~~~~~~~
> Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
> Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
>
> ~~~~~~ Customer :
> Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
> Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
> Customer : No, I can't.
> Waiter : Then does it really matter
>
> ~~~~~~
>
> Little Susie came running into the house after school one
> day,shouting, 'Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!' 'That's
> great, Sweetheart,' said her daddy. 'Come in to the living room and
> tell me about it.' 'Well,' began the confession, 'I got 50 in
> spelling, 30 in math's and

> 20 in science.'
>
>
> Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
> Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
>
> ~~~~~~
>
> Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
> Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
>
> ~~~~~~
> Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
> Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~
>
> Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
> Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
> ~~~~~~~
>
> Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
> Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune
teller.
> ~~~~~~~
>
> 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the
window!
> 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
> 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions
> .
> ~~~~~~~~
>
> Man : How old is your father?
> Boy : As old as me.
> Man : How can that be?
> Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~
>
> Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
> Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
> ~~~~~~~
>
> Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
> Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game
> went into extra time.
>
> ~~~~~~~
>
> An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
> 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long
> has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. ' How long has what
> been going on?' said the man.
>
> ~~~~~~~
>
> Girl : Do you love me?
> Boy : Yes Dear.
> Girl : Would you die for me?
> Boy : No, mine is undying love.
>
> ~~~~~~~~
> Wife : Do you want dinner?
> Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
> Wife : Yes and no.
> ~~~~~~~~
>
> Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi
> in
> two days time?
> Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
> Customer : I bet you, it won't.
> Post Master : Why not?
> Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
>
>
> Trust You Had Some Laughs..!!
>