SUIKODEN

It is a known fact that all daughters-in- law have problems with their mothers-in-law. Anyway one day the daughters-in- law all got together and decided to apologize to their mothers-in-law for everything they had apparently done wrong. A week later the daughters-in- law decided to take their families (including their mothers-in-law) on a picnic.

The mothers-in-law were all in one bus, which was the first to leave.On The way their bus had an accident and all the mothers-in-law died.The daughters-in- law were devastated but one in particular was more heart broken than the rest. Everyone tried to console her by telling her that at least her mother-in-law had died without any tension between them. But still she cried.

Eventually when she was calm enough to speak the other women asked her: why are you crying so much. Was your mother-in-law that special? The woman replied: no, my mother-in-law missed the bus...

BIRTH CONTROL PILLS

After working most of her life Grandma finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control Pills.

"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills? "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that. but every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange Juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks. And believe me, it helps Me sleep at night " You gotta love Grandmas!

PARISH PARROTS

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only say one thing"

"What do they say" the priest inquired. "They say, hi we're naughty girls, do you want to have some fun"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaims I can see why you are embarrassed.

He thought for a second and said "I may have a solution for your problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship". "Thank you" said the woman.

The next day she takes her parrots to the priest's house. She saw his two male parrots in their cage holding their rosary beads and praying. Impressed she walks over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes the female parrots exclaim in unison "we're naughty girls, do you want to have some fun"

There was a stunned silence, finally one male parrot looks over to the other one and says "Francis, put your beads away, our prayers have been answered"

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PASSWORD
This one has to be the yarn of the week.............

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...

P.....

E.....

N.....

I.....

S.....

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

PASSWORD DENIED - NOT LONG ENOUGH